Lounging Lovely (Video)

Youtube disabled my audio again ! So, now I know I really can’t depend on them. So below this post about what I’m doing, not doing, how I’m feeling etc. is the video you all love.

My mind is always working overtime and full-time and once again I’m currently negotiating another nice lil entertainment website deal. I’m really excited about it because if all goes well this shit is gonna be Hot showcasing some of Chicago’s Hottest Adult Entertainment. And for the curious I’m not talking about BBWs either.

I’ve thought about all the things that could possibly go wrong and stop this deal from happening the most important factor is the Green, money, cash, dough, bread. Most people are so fucking cheap they cheat themselves out of success. I talk about it all the time. People are willing to spend their money on hair, nails, and bling but not business. I mean driving around in a 50,000.00 car with a 600.00 bank account, excuse me..?? That’s just nonsense.

So, that’s how the cookie crumbles no developer/ graphic designer or webmaster is going to work for free and hosting is not free nor is bandwidth. Anywho, I’ll save the webmaster business talk for my webmaster blog Lovely D Entertainment Entrepreneur.

Other than all that JAZZ I had yet another crazy dream which ended with him being beaten nearly to death by a giant man. That woke me straight up !! I was wide awake and cleaning up to calm my nerves. When I say giant man I do mean giant he was about two stories tall. LOL

As you all can see from my blogs loving a brother just ain’t for me cause I don’t know how to love half way. And a quote from one of my favorite movies “Beloved” Oprah says “thin love ain’t no love at all”.

On another note, I did hit up the club and I met a nice, nice, I mean fine as brother. Lawd, this brother is so fine and educated that he has me intimidated. It’s a good thing I wasn’t drunk when I was talking to him cause he would have lost me. I want to describe him in detail but I’ll just say I love his bow legs.

This brother invited me to church when we met in the club. You gotta love that. I’ll admit when I first looked at him I was like nope too cute but when he started talking I was sucked in. There is nothing sexier than a man that understands who he is, where he comes from and what he needs to do in order to be successful in this “America”. Now I won’t get all deep in on that stuff but maybe, just maybe I’ll get my trip to the mother land after all.

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In whom does your strength lie ?

At this moment I’m pulling and pushing to be strong and to have faith in myself and my decisions because I know I never fail me. No matter who else doesn’t show up and show out to let me know that every thing is ok I always do. I’m just feeling like the people around me are fraudulent knock-offs of the people I’d like to have in my life. Have you ever felt like that..?

I’ve been trying to do better, be better with people and relationships but um yea not so breezy. I’m not the friendly type so I don’t push to make friends, I’m not the forgiving type so if you put salt in my eye I know you’ll do it again and I’m not the jealous type so if new people try to take my place in your life I’ll step out the way so you all can ride off into the sunset or the furnace which ever is destined.

I just wanna know am I wrong..? I don’t think I’m wrong at all. If you need me to chase you down for friendship then the feelings aren’t mutual, if you need me to put up a public fight showing you really mean something to me then is this for show..? And if I have to keep forgiving you our friendship will lose it’s quality over time after each mended break.

People say that struggles make your relationship stronger well breaks make it weaker. How many times can you break something and mend it back together again before you see it’s totally useless to you and everyone around it.

I can’t pretend to trust you, I can’t pretend to know you or pretend to like you if I don’t. I can’t because my mind, my heart won’t allow me to be at peace with that. So I’d rather let go then hold on to something broken and cheat you out the chance of having the type of friend you deserve good or bad. I know we all make mistakes we are all only human and I’ll forgive and look over somethings but some things just can’t be forgiven or shouldn’t be.

I was talking to an older friend and he finished my sentence with “get a knife in your back”. That’s the reality some people are only there to sabotage you. And then others unknowingly sabotage you with their desire to be seen, desire to be accepted, desire to be acknowledged and their desire to be liked. So, I’m always careful with those types of people who seem to need and want attention from people who wouldn’t care if they fell off the earth tomorrow.

When this is someone you’ve grown to care about it hurts but it’s a matter of self esteem and my friendship or love can’t and won’t fix it. The best thing for me to do is get away before all the repercussions are fucking up my efforts. That’s not selfish that’s smart !

Btw, I tweeted the other day about being annoyed by my sister. She came over in all her fake glory smiling and bearing gifts. Don’t get me wrong I love my sister with all my heart as a matter of fact I think I love her more than she does. And that my friend is most of the problem. She once again brought up reasons why she envies me and I listened as always feeling sorry for her. In a nutshell, she went back to the 1980′s when I was too young to know what the fuck life had in store for me. She was talking about how cute I was with my big brown eyes and how spoiled I was by  “our step father”. Mad at me because he treated me more like his daughter then her and mad at me cause he stepped up and told the courts he wanted to be my father.  So this is my fault..?? I don’t need this shit in my life !!

Wish you could have heard her saying “he always took you around all his friends showing you off, every body in the neighborhood was nice to you and give you whatever you wanted”. It’s so fucking sick ! So fucking sick but I’m glad that now it’s all coming up and I know that it’s not me. This has nothing to do with anything I’ve done oh except that little part about me being born. This is way I made up my mind not to have children by more than one man. So yeah a happy fucking birthday to me, thanks sis !! You make me strong enough to withstand anything.(scene just popped in my head from the movie “Life” she was my half sister so I cut her ass in half ! lol)

But anyway, make sure you go buy my latest fetish video at my clips4sale store bookmark BigBodyDiva.com

Sex, Lies, and Video Tape…?

Sex, lies and video tape such an intriguing title.  And yet I’d rather not have them all at the same time but here I am with the sex, lies and video tape of the porn biz.

I found one of my first videos I shot before I moved here and I’ve decided to keep it although I was being camera shy and didn’t show my face. Heck who knows maybe you like it like that, faceless porn.

IDK, But the clarity is awesome and the lighting is good.

Other than this I’ve been just doing what I do and trying to keep everything stablized in my world. I was having some kind of computer issue that seems to be resolved now. I’ve been doing alot of tweeting. Tweet, tweet, tweet !!

Also, you may notice Mz shampaynes post. Those are her post that she’s posted !! Can you say U.N.I.T.Y…? I’ve had to implement a few changes to lighten my load, and make things easier to manage. So, Welcome Mz shampayne.

I logged into the forum to find that it had been attacked. I mean just spammed to the max. I wasn’t expecting that considering the fact that I added a spam section but spam bots apparently don’t follow the rules. LOL

Anywho, It’s 5:51am and as productive as I have been I don’t feel I’ve been productive enough. I need ten more of me. !! That would so totally rock. Don’t you agree..??

Other than that I’ve got one “Little” thing that’s been getting under my skin. It’s a “Little” thing that’s be kicking up dust on the internet and the dust has traveled over to me.

SMH, I just want the sex and the video tape not the lies. O please can I avoid the lies..? Have you heard any nasty “Little” Lovely D rumors..? Do tell !!

But first get on over to www.bigbodydiva.com and view the new clip.