LMFAO, I find it amazing how I brush shit off and make jokes about the pain I”m in at first. No more stressing over the situation it’s all out in the clear LOVELY D has been “rejected” ! This whole week “Mr. Malcolm Little” has been dropping hints that he was about to run back to his ex.

Our last day together felt like a good bye. The way he was talking to me, the way he looked at me the way he kissed me. It all felt like good bye. And those were the best kisses we ever had.  Too bad we didn’t have any good bye sex, damnit. What the fuck is good bye without the sex..? See if he would have stuck with me I could have taught him how to say good bye to a chick properly. But he chose the road most traveled. The road of love and romance.

Ah, looks like “Mr. Malcolm Little” is an old romantic either that or a fool in love. Damn I’m not even gonna get in to his business like that. Right now I’m not even mad but that’s how I am. It takes some thing before shit comes crashing down on me. That’s why I’ve decided to blog now. I understand how we all hope for and desire love even when we are in denial about it. And I do realize that even goes for myself as well.

I’m gonna miss that kid. But I do feel like I just wasted two years thinking about him hoping he was done simmering. And yet I can’t think of a person more worthy. At least I found out that he truly is a good guy he’s just young and still fiddling with the remote control to his actions and emotions. If you know me at all you know right now I’m handling this extremely well. I don’t have one bad thought in my mind. Praise God. I have matured after four years of no intimacy !! So it seems something good has come from that as well.

Now for you guys reading this don’t ask me why I won’t call you or date you. This is why. You all never know what the hell you want. You do want me but o wait no you don’t want me. Pleez, guys save it. And don’t tell me I chose the wrong guy. LMFAO, sit back, cross your legs, watch and lets see what happens next.

I”m not about to get all puffed up with pride and tell you I’m gonna do this that and the other as a result of my pain and disappointment. No need for that. I will admit that the thought did cross my mind when he dropped the first hint that he was leaning her way. I’m glad I kept a cool head about it cause that means I can continue to keep a cool head.

Well, time to break the news to my family. They are so not gonna like him anymore, whew !! My mom will take this the hardest she was really digging the kid. My poor cat B.B. he don’t let many people get close to him. My sister will be like well you know what you got to do, move on to the next one. LMAO, as if we had a relationship or something. Let’s be real for a min though; If it feels like a relationship what you call it don’t matter much.

The saddest part about all this is there really isn’t anyone in my life right now that I sincerely want to be bothered with. I did talk to chocolate cutie today though and he don’t look as good as he was looking before I got dick in my life. LMFAO, so maybe Malcolm just saved me from that situation. Too funny…I think it might be time to leave the internet guys alone for a while. Idk but that’s what I’m thinking right now seriously. I don’t care for tight circles and yet that’s what this situation was.

O about the title . .I felt it was appropriate since he’s a gamer. But who’s the loser..?  Only time will tell…